people seem to look at me funny. i am not sure why. i have been trying to work out what it might be. i don’t recall any strange looks from people in australia / new zealand. i felt normal in japan, who wouldn’t?
but it started when i got to london. people looked at me as i walked on the street. i thought maybe i looked like someone famous? or maybe my face had been all over the media for suspected illegal busking and they were watching me while they prepared to call for the police? i wasn’t sure.
then in germany too, the same thing. i think i put this down to skinny jeans here though, i didn’t see any other boys wearing skinny jeans where i was.
and now in america, people look at me strange. do i stand out that much? am i that different to anyone else? i don’t think so. BUT.. i think i may have recently stumbled across some evidence to suggest why these people might be possibly seeing me differently…….
i was at a museum in washington dc last week, a female security guard at the exit said ‘hey’. after a pause, i said ‘hey’ back. she then said these words which i may or may not have found to disturb me a little - ‘oh great, i’m so glad you spoke, i was standing here trying to work out if you were a girl or a boy…’
trying to work out if i was a girl or a boy? seriously? i look like i might be a girl? i am a boy.
then yesterday, as i walked by a table in a los angeles restaurant, i heard a little girl turn to her mother and ask, ‘mommy is that boy a girl? why does he have long hair?’ i smiled and kept moving.
so just to clear up any confusion anyone might be experiencing..
"As I lie here awake I am surrounded by unfamiliarity, yearning for something that I recognise, hoping for even a hint of normality, but knowing my desire will remain unfulfilled, leaving me to ponder the reasons for committing to such an endeavour, questioning the very same beliefs which convinced me not only of the value of being here, but of also merely being." - author withheld.